Where's All The Bitches At? BaRumpABumpBump!

This is my first Christmas as an adult and the shit motherfucking sucks all kinds of lollipops, dicks, popsicles and what ever you else people put in your mouth. I got my gift on Black Friday -__- which means i ain't wake up to shit underneath the tree, i will be sending Santa & Ms.Claus a very lengthy hate letter. ANYWAYS! When i woke up this morning i played this & now i'm in the Christmas mood, some what.

Girltalkk!

                              

                           
Whoever is the first person to count how many times we we say pussy throughout this video, will get a very SPECIAL post dedicated to them on our blog! =]



Hey Lets Be Friends? No, How About Fuck Buddies?

Being "friends" with an Ex? I see little to no point in such activies. Why the fuck would i want be friends with someone that broke my heart or whose heart i broke? That's just awkward and unnecessary. UNLESS you're still looking to fuck that person, which is completely normal. Hey who wants to up their body count by fucking someone new or possibly running the risk of not having as good of sex with this new person. But to fuck an Ex doensn't mean you must be their friend it just means you must be "coordial" whatever that means.

I mean can you seriously see yourself being a  TRUE friend to an Ex. & by friend i mean giving them un bias advise about their new boyfriend/girlfriend or sex tips on how to fuck their new boyfriend/girlfriend. NO , I can't.

Call it selfish or whatever you want but i cannot fathom the idea of an Ex. actually getting over me, so instead i attempt  to cut all communication and in my head think that they are all sitting in their room crying bloody murder due to the lost of Me. And to be their friend would only confirm the truth. . That they no longer give a fuck about me and have completely moved on.

I think some people say they'll be "friends" in hopes that their Ex. will talk/see them more often and wish they never broke up with and in turn get back together. But shit like that only happens in the movies. Ex's don't get back together in real life and if they do they don't ever last. Ex's are Ex's for a reason and they ought to stay that way, unless they become your new fuck buddy. but that is it!

Girltalkk LOVES This Girl!

                       
I love me some Cher Llyod, shit. Under normal circumstaces i DESPISE this song (Nothin' On You by B.O.B) But Ms. Cher did this shit justice. I need this on repeat in my ipod like NAYOW.

10 Things I Absolutely HATE About Facebook.

                       

1. I hate going to someones facebook page, and you click on their photos, and there's a sequences of ugly photos...AND THEN OUT OF NOWHERE theres a picture of Beyonce -_-. Like you just slipped it in there and i wasn't supposed to notice that that's fucking beyonce and not your unnatractive ass.

2. Party Promoters/Event invatations I am an NOT, i repeat AM NOT going to your funky ass club or party so stop sending me invites. I don't want to be invited. Stop sending me messages and getting me all excited that someone wrote me for NO reason.

3. Pokes. This is self-explanitory.

4. Facebook Chat. I guess this can be a good thing, but for me it's not. It's like if you can't get a hold of me by sending me a message or writing on my wall, we probably DON'T need to be friends.
     

5. I pretty much hate the whole entire left side of Facebook. It's full of shit that doesn't matter. Also, facebook chat is on the left side as well. Coincidence? I think not. (that's an actual screen shot of the leftside of my FB)

6. Family. Having your family on Facebook is NEVER a good idea. You can't really say anything that you wouldn't want your older brother to know, or shit even your mom to know. Facebook has gotten too accsesible to old people, and how people don't find that creepy? IDK.

7. Tagged Photos are a bitch. I REALLY don't need you to tag me in a photo where you look all cute and sexyfied and i'm in the background eating Ritzs crackers and spinich dip, and theres spinich dip residue on my lips that can possibly be mistaken for sperm. NO THANKS. Leave me the fuck out of your tagged photos. I will tag myself (if i look cute), thank you very much.

8. Random birthday reminders that get sent to your phone. Personally for me, i could really give one fuck if 36 of my facebook friends birthday are this week. That's MY bussiness if i want to wish them a Happy Birthday or not, reminders and such aren't needed.

9. I also hate that when I "Like" something on facebook, people must have a conversation in that post. Because of this, i refrain from liking things because i don't want a jillion notifcations of you and your freinds going back and forth about some bullshit. Many great status updates have gone unliked because you and your friends couldn't shut the fuck up.

10. Facebook trends. Right now poeple are changing their profile pictures to cartoons becasue it's supposed to "raise awareness" to child abuse. How that's rasing awareness and helping out abused children? IDK. That's the mystery of the century. Personally if i wanted to help out abused children, i'd click HERE and send in a couple of bucks. i wouldn't do it through Facebook. -_-

P.S. Add me and Brandi on Facebook!

Ugly Ass Jordans!

These things have got to be some of the ugliest things i've seen. Why would any woman with any valid style dare put these things on their feet? There has only been one instance in history where a male's shoe was transformed into a cute heel, and that was the in the early 2000's when Manolo Blahnik made the Timberland heel. Remember Beyonce & Jayz wore the Timberland boot & Timberland heel in the ' Bonnie & Cylde 03 ' music video? It was back when those two claimed to be " just friends ". No one is ever " just friends" but hey that's another topic of discussion that we will discuss later. Back to these ugly ass heels. Look how stubby and short the heel is! It looks as if it were designed for either a fat girl or a lesbian. I mean I like the idea of a girl and guy wearing the same shoe, but not at the cost of fucking fashion. If a girl wants to be cute i say you just buy the actual Jordan sneaker and somehow pull them off.

Date A Bitch or Date An Asshole?

When it comes to a boyfriend/girlfriend, do you really want the person who's a little bitch, the one who tells you everything you wanna hear, the one that won't argue with you and will just agree with you, the one whose pants were easy to get in, the one who's your bitch? i mean yeah sure it's fun to be someones ENTIRE life but after a certain point,  who gives a fuck? i don't.

The person who's the asshole has some damn spark, some sequin and some bedazzler. They will agrue with you to til the end of it to prove their point, their the one who made you work to get in them jeans, the person who isn't afraid to tell you NO.

At 18 i'm to damn young to be dating someone who will give me my way ALL the time and won't argue with me, i'll save that bitchmade person who says YES to my every command til i'm 32 and living the life of a Tyler Perry movie character.

But don't get this mistaken for something it's not. No one wants a complete Asswhole either cos guess what? i'm too young to be dealing with that shit also! plus there are to many gold fish crackers in the sea for that.
i guess in genereal this rant can be summed up in one sentence: don't date someone who is constantly telling you YES or NO. Fuck that bitch or that asshole

Kiss Asses Still Exist.

1. Teachers pets, brown nosers, kiss asses. They still exist although everyone is a fucking adult and should have grown out of that age 11.
2. You are allowed to call your teachers by their first names! But I don’t, that shit is just odd & awkward. My teachers claim they would prefer me to call them by their first name but I don’t. I mean how can i take you serious if i'm calling you Lauren, which my best friends name [which is actually one of my teachers name] plus my mother would not be happy if she found out I was calling a teacher by their first name.
3. Books & supplies are not free, I totally took it for granted in high school when we got our books at the beginning of the year. In college books are expensive and with the classes I have I NEVER even used them -__- YES 300 dollars down the motherfucking drain.
4. You live by the syllabus! Unlike highschool teachers have a motherfucking plan. You don't come into class & see the shit written on the board. No it's printed out for you on the first day, you can look at that shit & decide weather or not your gonna go to class on a certain day.
5. Speaking of not going to class. No body calls your rents if you don’t go, or looks at you awkward because they know you ditched their class the day before. No one gives a fuck wither you come or not *that's what she said.
6. An English class in high school is not the same as English class in college. The classes are much harder BUT somehow in this twister reality, college is much easier for ME b/c you go to class less & have less assignments but the assignments that you do have aren't BS work their in depth. idk it just works out way better.
7. Cafeteria food isn’t all that bad in college cos the lunch ladies and lunch "men" who cook are studying Culinary, so their actually interested in cooking for you and making sure you like it. Their not some 67 year old lady with tits to her belly button trying to convinvce you the mystery meat isn't left over meat from yesterdays "beef"tacos.
8. Teachers actually like their job & give a fuck about their students. If you talk to them, they’ll usually assist you in any area you need help with like turning in late assignments or getting extra help on a  hard lesson
9. There’s ALWAYS someone in your class who has it MORE than you. Someone is taking 3 times as many units as you are, receiving less or no finical aid & still have a job or even more than one job. So don't complain about how hard college is at this point, were all adults & no one gives a fuck abt you and your pity party.

Kanye West: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

The album is amazing & a piece of art. Theirs nothing more that i love in this whole wide world than someone talking shit AND backing it up & that is exactly what Mr.West did. I am not one for purchasing albums but i went out and got a psychical CD. Even my little brother had to go out and get his OWN copy & we live in the same house.

My Favorite Songs Off The Album:
-All Of The Lights
-Blame Game
-Monster
-Power
-Dark Fantasy
-Devil in a Blue Dress

*Heres the runaway movie in case you have fallen off the edge of the earth & not had the chance to see it.

                    

This is beautifully crafted , and from what i can see it is directly about his relationship with Amber Rose. I could totally hear the part that states: " i must burn [ because she's a phoenix] " going like " i must be an industry hoe that ain't about shit, that got her rise to fame from dating a rap star " See how the two interchange ? The use of a phoenix is so inspiring ,because phoenix burst into flames ,killing themselves and then rebirth themselves. I interpret it as : If someones gonna kill me it will be me & if i'm re-birthed i will have done it , i'm not giving anyone any unnecessary credit for anything concerning me.

**After the jump is conversation between Lauren & I when Kanye West's Graduation was coming out on the same day as 50 Cents Massacre. We were in 10th grade & such fucking dweebs. I must say i was just as excited to get the new album as i was when Graduation dropped. *btw i felt so cool when i said "dropped".

I Want To Be In This Fucking NYC Train...Like Now!

GirlTalkk Wishes You A Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Eat today, lose the weight tomorrow is our motto! =]

Kanye Being Kanye

Gawker put together is compilataion of Kanye West antics. I don't know about you guys, but watching this makes me love him 5% more, so now i love him 105%.

If I Were You I'd Listen To Me (Week 2)

1. If it is fucking cold outside, and for SOME reason unbenounced to me, you happen to be going to an outdoor sporting event, and it's fucking cold outside...don't wear short ass attire, not only are you reaching ALL levels of not cuteness, but you will possibly catch a pneumonia and becoming sickly because you were attempting to be cute is in fact, not cute.

2. If you still don't know how to spell bananas after gwen stefani came out with Hollaback Girl, you're a dumbass.

3. If you don't want people to think your welcome to sucking dick at any given time, don't eat bananas or suck on lolipops in public. you think i'm immature for sterotyping you in a dicking suck category? well i think YOUR immature for eating foods shaped like dicks all out in the public like that. (and yes i know that all the best foods are shaped like dicks.) but so what! there's a time and place for everything.

4. Not being over your ex is SOOOOO summer 2010. you need to get your shit together and stop replying to those booty call texts at all hours of the wee mornings.

5. If you are on the verge of becoming a sidechick who is (most likely) unnatrative, i belive that Work It by Missy Elliot should be your theme song.

6. Having outraegeous nails does not look cute unless you already dress nice.

7.The teens on MTV's 16 & pregnant are far more dumb then your average 16 & pregnant teen that is not on MTV.

8. If your voice sounds like Khloe Kardashian when she talks to Lamar, there is a 100% chance that i hate you.

9. I challenge you to when come home from school or work scream "DADDDDYYS HOME!" in your best Usher voice.

10. When in doubt just wear black. i mean you should already know that by now but this is for the people who are oblivious to that rule. (aka MOST of the girls i went to highschool with)

Everytime I Have Sex I Cum In 3 Minutes, What Should I Do?

In this weeks webisode we discuss: where to hide your sex toys,STDs,restrainging orders,out of control pubes,penis sizes, the correct use of the term "ejaculated", rough fingering,smelley vaginas and having sex with your best friend.

Penis Power Vs. Pussy Power

Pussy Power

Penis Power

Pro's & Con's

1.Pussy can be sold , Penis is always free.

2.Pussy won't tap into your emotions , Penis will .

3. Pussy has no face  , Penis has a face.

[ meaning a guy will fuck pretty much any girl. a girl won't fuck just any guy]

 One isn't necessarily more strong than the other, Pussy can be translated into material objects like money. Guys spend money on girls , wining & dining them etc. just to get some pussy & in the end wither you get to fuck her or not you could be left broke, while Penis can be translated into emotions. Girls usually only have sex with guys that really have feelings for & in the end if he leaves,  your left crying, watching waiting to exhale with a bucket of ice cream. It all depends on which you value you more? Financial Stability or Emotional Stability ?

Halloween!

"Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut

 and no other girls can say anything bad about it" -Mean Girls

How I Would Fuck You...(as explained by anonymous)

"well, first off, i wouldn't just fuck you, i'd make love to you like there was no tomorrow. the location would be irrelevant, as long as we were alone without a care in the world. things would start off slow. i wouldn't rush things, i would take my time, warm you up, and enjoy every second with you. we'd start with some light kissing and progress from there. i would kiss you on the lips, your forehead, and then back to your lips. after things heated up a bit, i'd start kissing and nibbling on your ears and then move to your neck, kissing and licking gently but intently.

from there i would slowly remove your clothes, first with your shirt (and bra if you were wearing one), but i would leave your bottoms on for a while. i'd kiss you some more and slowly make my way down your neck and to your wonderful breasts. i'd kiss them and lick them, gently gliding my tongue in a circular motion, then moving inwards licking your nipples and then sucking on them ever so gently. all the while i would be running my hands up and down your soft body, once in a while running them through your hair.

Memorable Commercials

Los Angeles Fashion Week

1. THE MILLINERY GUILD SHOW

October 15 , 2010

This was one of the best shows I've been to. There were 16 designers

the last being MONDO from Project Runway!

His line featured neon colored mouse traps

that were also . . BEDAZZLED!

2. CONCEPT : Angel Johnson Show

October 16, 2010

The venue was really nice , but the clothing IN the show

reeked of stolen ideas that weren't translated well.

The clothing looked as if Beatle Juice And Alice & Wonderland

had a bastard child together & the newborn shit this line out.

After the Angel Johnson show ISM Mode had a press shoot that

went on upstairs & it was fucking AMAZING.

We met the designer of ISM Mode & her boyfriend, who we

had a very interesting conversation about Biological Anthropology.

Science talk at a fashion show? who would have thought .

3. Fashion Week Extravaganza at Vanguard 

October 23, 2010

This show sucked big hairy balls -__- 

Cheap unfinished garments , DISGUSTING!

The club's security were so fucking

rude because we were under 21 & technically not allowed to

be in the club, they marked our hands with fucking red X's

which meant we couldn't drink.

BUT

We were still seated in V.I.P

Amazing things that happened :

1. I was able to dance to " like a G6 " in the club before the

song went out of style.

2. I heard the same security guard who gave us red X's while on

his break say " that bitch is a fucking whore. I know at least 15

guys on the east cost that she blew &

my cousin? Dude he fucked the SHIT outta her " in his

Jersey Shore accent.