Soon-To-be Baby Daddy: Kanye West

 

Bitches With Braidz.

Barack Obama ... ONE MORE YEAR!

Congratulations Mr. President, you've made history yet again.
Thanks for being the biggest inspiration for African Americans for generations to come.
We salute you.

XOXO

Pu$$y Power Prt. 2

"Money & PU$$Y makes the world go around. That's the way its been since the beginning of time"

                                                                                                                             - Sir DJ Quik

PU$$Y makes the world go around? & it's been this way since the beginning of time? So, MONEY & PU$$Y are on the same playing field, which must mean that their equals! So PU$$Y has value, in fact the ultimate value!  PU$$Y = MONEY . Thanks for clarifying that DJ Quik & 2nd II None.

In this classic, it goes:

1. You get da POWER.

2. Den you get da MONEY

3. Den you get da PU$$Y

Don't be a dummy -_- Exactly. Don't be a fucking dummy! & I wasn't. Notice the very last accomplishment is PU$$Y. I realized that we can turn this around ladiez and use it for ourselves to achieve "success", BUT it goes a little different:

1. Your born with da PU$$Y.

2. Den you must TRULY understand the POWER of owning a PU$$Y and that knowledge will automatically transform into POWER.

3. Den you GO get da MONEY.

This song is the sole reason why PU$$Y should always be spelled with two dollar signs instead of S's.

The moral of this story? No, i'm not saying go sell your PU$$Y. Instead, recognize game. We already are born possessing what men want and you can fast track it to the money if you're smart. Your standard of who you give your to PU$$Y has to rise seeing that it is as precious as MONEY. & you don't just give your MONEY away to everyone for fun, do you?

Pu$$y Power Part.1

Hey ladies! So today I was having my usual breakfast y'know with Mary and Jane and it came to me! Tupac, the greatest rapper to ever live and definitely one of the realest niggas to walk these here streets of LA said himself in the anthem Hail Mary:

"I ain't a killa but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy, Next to getting PU$$Y"

So what does this mean? 

It means that revenge is the sweetest joy NEXT to getting PU$$Y. Which would then have to conclude that PU$$Y holds the sweetest joy. So don't that guy tell you different, and downplay it! No PU$$Y isn't just "pussy" its the sweetest joy on this earth, and that's according to Tupac himself! I didn't say it, he did.

-BEE

Thoughts with Mary + Jane

Below are some of the recent thoughts i thought up while spending quality time with Mary & Jane.


Brandi: I hope its unnamouce around the world that when choosing a flavor, you should always go with the red one. & yeah i know, reds not a flavor. Don't be a smart ass.


Brandi:Why haven't i made a designated a time of each day that i will do my kegals?


Brandi: That's so fucked up! We totally don't respect palm trees as works of art like we should.


Brandi: It was rude of YG to steal Khia's song without asking her permission or buying her some chicken wingz! This generation just has no class.


Brandi: I wish cell phones would have ceased at Blackberrys. I mean c'mon dude, they had thee BEST keyboards.


Brandi: Does Kanye have enough money to take a trip to the moon? If so, why hasn't he? I would be so content when his constant rants of how much he's the shit because he went to the moon. & if he died? Who fucking cares. He died doing some cool shit like GOING TO THE MOON!


Brandi: When I get to heaven, i have to stop cursing.


Brandi: What the FUCK was i thinking giving my virginity to HIM -_-


Brandi: When you think about it, every pizza place has distinctively different pizza from another.


Brandi: I am too damn old to not know how to hula-hoop.


Brandi: I could totally marry a cartoon character, that his name would be Eric Cartman.

HOW TO: Get Over Your EX!

1. Completely stop all forms of communication. Delete his number from your phone. Girl he is taking up place in your contacts that can be used for a REAL NIGGA! Do NOT answer his calls or text messages. If you're not able to resist the urge of texting/calling him, then contact your subscriber and have him blocked from your phone. You have less of a chance of contacting him if you have to jump thru hoops and shit to do it. Your not giving yourself the oppertunity to get over someone if your still conversing with them on a regular basis.

2. Give him back his shit or throw it away. You don't want to find yourself up at 3am in the morning, in his basketball jersey, crying over a carton of ice cream. Cause that just ain't cute.

3.MUSIC. Stop listening to that damn Adele (although I love her) and throw on some trill shit like 2 Chainz. Thats a big part of it. Men dont go thru bad break ups, and thats cause their listening to rap which is telling them Fuck Bitches. Which is what you should be saying to your Ex.

4. Refrain from jumping into a new relationship so fast. You're only gonna compare your ex to this new guy and not even give the the new guy a chance. Just be content by yourself or surround yourself around your girlfriends.

5. Except it for what it is. A break-up. Not the end of the world like it may feel, shit will get better girl. If we never broke up with people that means you would be with your very first boyfriend. & i don't know about you but that would be a tragedy for me if that were the case!

SOCIAL SECURITY CARD: Your Life on Paper

• Lauren: BRANDI ! Why do you just have your Social Security card laying around your car!?
• Brandi: I dont know.
• Lauren: Dont you know if someone finds this your life is OVER! You'll never own a new car, own a house, you'll never live ever again.
• Brandi: -__-
(2 Hours Later)

• Brandi: Hey, whats your Wifi name?
• Lauren: Garcia.
• Brandi: Why the fuck is it Garcia?
• Lauren: BECAUSE MY AUNTIE HAS HER EX-BOYFRIENDS SOCIAL SECURITY CARD.

Love Brooke Candy

Thinking About You

So guys, i was thinking.. You know how everyone gave Frank Ocean shit for being gay and coming out of the closet?(which i think is amazing that he admitted) But why haven't any of us thought about all of his ex girlfriends and how they feel? You know as soon as he became famous they were all running around screaming in the streets, "I DATED FRANK OCEAN! THINKING ABOUT YOU IS ABOUT ME!" & Now everyone's giving them the side eye, thinking "Boo, the entire times you guys were fucking, secretly he wished you could grow a mustache and a dick -___-".

 -bee